Curse of the quadruple shoelaces

When I was in 4th grade, I had a pair of LA Gear sneakers with shoelaces. Purple and white, with sparkles. But what really made these shoelaces special was that........ there were four of them! Yes, 1-2-3-4!

For the most part I felt very cool in these sparkly quadruple shoelaces, except for two times when they became seriously entangled in my bike spokes/chain. Getting out of this required me both times, once with the aid of a neighbor, to hobble home where a responsible adult used scissors to set me free from my predicament.

Until last week, I thought these shoelaces were a thing of the past. Until..... we came back to school after the holiday break and TWO students had shoes with quadruple shoelaces. Wait, this story gets better. One pair of shoelaces are not equal size, one set is very long, one side is very short. Why....? Why.....? And conveniently, neither of these children can tie their shoes, especially not ones with four laces.

It would be one thing if they just occasionally came untied during class. But since there is snow on the ground, we go to the gym each day. It is all carpeted with several gym mats on the floor, requiring 17 children to remove their shoes. So we line up in the hall, while all 17 children remove their shoes, go in the gym. Kind of a pain, but not nearly as bad as 17 children needing to put shoes back ON. In a hallway, with other classes going on, trying to keep them together instead of fleeing the scene.

And, of course, the owners of the quadruple shoelaces, are those with a "difficult" temperment. None of the "go with the flow" type stuff. So, if the shoes don't look just right.....

I have only one explanation for these shoes: The manufacturer never taught preschool!!!!!